Like my best friend & “sister” Karen with whom i share this blog, i tend to be a perfectionist. But she, unlike most, has had the wisdom to learn long ago to only apply it to those things that profit from dose of perfectionism. Me? Not so much! Lol. I apply it to work but i also apply it to writing. I can & do write fast, but then i will sit on it & want to perfect it before i let it get out there. So the idea of a blog is really perfect here: write & push “go”*. Done. THEN I can look back & sob loudly at the mistakes & imperfections i find afterwards. Ok…i’ll try not to do that!
Then there’s the other problem: we all want to write about happy times & the things in life. I notice people then disappearing for a few weeks & come back lamentating about their unbelievably busy schedules lately, which has to be a good thing, right? But those few i know usually have not so happy times in their lives coincide with their MIA from their blog. All that says, is that people go out of their way to hide the existence of unhappy events in their lives. That was established to be true on Facebook long ago apparently. & at the time, i couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but i felt something so fake & superficial about the behavior (not about Facebook itself!) that it actually turned me off enough to leave for a number of years. I STILL really haven’t come back…
So the question is, why the pretense? Oh wait… You think i have some great & thourougly researched answers derived from well-established psychological principles, don’t you? Hahaha! Uh…no, sorry. I’m still puzzled on that one. & probably will remain that way. But i do plan on NOT doing that. Nothing but the truth & if i’m missing for a few days, i’ll say why. Although I also promise not to deliver a never ending lithany of tear jerker details that, as true as they are, aren’t necessarily interesting nor useful to anyone…
All who know me are aware that i spent a number of years in a relationship that long outlasted its use in my life. People change but don’t necessarily grow & mature; some become angrier as life doesn’t turn out to be what they had planned, even if they are the ones derailing themselves all along. & they dump on & blame the very people who are loyal & loving to them. You can be an extremely intelligent person & still have this happen to you because it creeps up on you slowly over time. No one starts a relationship by being abusive from day 1. & by the time you are aware, other factors (in my case, his Alzheimer’s stricken father to whom i had promised he would never go into a home) can delay things a bit. But then comes a time when too much is too much, you have nothing to loose, & anything is better than this. Some details i have learned to laugh at because they are so extreme that, as Karen wisely puts it, “how can anyone be this dumb?!? & how can they do it over & over & over even though everyone else has learned long ago that this particular path leads to landing on your ass?” That’s how nicknames like “dummo” are born… 🙂
So, you guessed it: if i go into “negative mode”, you can at least expect it to be:
1. Somewhat useful
2. Funny – in a sarcastic way
Why else would i even go there? I swear there are things this dummo has done that would make Gandhi slap him! & these are his own father’s words, God bless his soul.
Ok…That was a tall order, to express this in exactly the way i was committing to do it. Perfection be dammed. I won’t be its slave anymore. Write, push “go”, remember? So now i’m gonne go push go. Lol. Meanwhile, if you want to know a little moreabout me, there’s my bio somewhere if i manage to upload that too. & a lot more to come. Rain or shine. Happy or sad. I promise. 🙂